An altercation between two golfers resulted in one hitting the other with a golf club. During questioning, a cop asked, “How many times did you hit him with your golf club?” The perpetrator responded, “Five, but put me down for a four.”

You’re invited to a benefit today for the family of the late Breanna Downey. Things get under way at 1 p.m. at Grannan Printing, 1730 Front St., Slidell.

Included will be lots of food and refreshments, a bake sale, live auction, dunk tank, autographed Saints gear, games, a cake walk, 50/50 raffle and live music by Shadow Life. Plus, there’ll be a big screen TV to watch the Saints game. 18-year-old Breanna passed away last week from an unknown disease, and her family does not have insurance. A fund in her name has also been set up with Central Progressive Bank and donations can be made at any CPB location.

If you haven’t already purchased your ticket for the Krewe of Dionysus $30,000 raffle, it’s time to do so. The drawing will be held on Sept. 26 at the Slidell Municipal Auditorium.

Chances are $100 each and even if you don’t win the 30-grand, you’ll enjoy admission for two to the big party the night of the drawing. Included will be food, drink and a 30-foot screen TV to watch the LSU vs. Mississippi State football game.

The doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the drawing begins at 8 p.m. Winner need not be present.

To purchase tickets phone Bobby Juge at 960-6369, Leo Schmitt at 847-1681 or Thomas Roberts at 445-7939.

And good luck!

A gorilla walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and says, “That’ll be five bucks.”

As the gorilla is paying for his beer, the bartender adds, “You know we don’t get many gorillas in here.”

To which the gorilla replies, “At five bucks a beer, it’s no wonder.”

Terry Maddox is publisher of St. Tammany News.