Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

St. Tammany Fire Protection District No. 1 and the St. Tammany Parish Department of Fire Services are teaming up again to host the Fourth Annual Red Beans ‘n’ Rice Cook-off.

The event also serves as a kick off to the United Way 2008 Campaign and will include an Agency Fair with all of the currently funded UW agencies in St. Tammany Parish. It takes place Aug. 4 in the Slidell Municipal Auditorium.

Organizers are presently seeking sponsors. Sponsorships range from $500 to $5,000 and are tax deductible.

Cooking teams are also being sought.

A $50 entry fee will get your team of four into the competition for bragging rights for the Best Tasting Beans, People’s Choice and Best Decorated Booth.

Each team will cook 10 pounds of beans, which have been donated by Camellia Beans. Judges will be Rep. Greg Cromer, Gayle Sloan, Doug Mouton, Randi Rousseau and Connelly Hayward.

Admission for those of you who just wanna eat all the red beans you can is only $6. Dine in and take out orders will be available.

And in addition, there’ll be desserts prepared by the agencies, music by DJ Dan and prizes raffled.

Got questions? Phone Chris Kaufmann at 646-4387 or John O’Neil at 264-2046.

A man runs into his shrink’s office: “Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to help me. You’ve met my girlfriend, my beautiful, sexy girlfriend. She’s taken to hanging out at Murphy’s Pub picking up strange guys.”

The shrink says, “Now calm down and tell me: where is Murphy’s Pub?”

There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.

— Booker T. Washington

Terry Maddox is publisher of St. Tammany News.