I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

You’re invited to the finals of “Jammin’ on the Trace” tomorrow night. It takes place at the Tammany Trace Trailhead at the end of Koop Drive in Mandeville from 6-9 p.m.

Four bands will compete for the coveted title of “Jammin’ on the Trace” champ. Each is either a first- or second-place winner from two preliminary competitions.

The event is sponsored by St. Tammany Parish Government, St. Tammany Commission on Cultural Affairs and the Tammany Trace Foundation. Assistance is also provided by the St. Tammany Parish Sheriff’s Reserve.

Got questions? Phone 867-9490.

After digging to a depth of 10 meters, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years. They concluded that their ancestors had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly thereafter headlines in the UK read: “British archaeologists found traces of 200-year-old copper wire and concluded that the British had an advanced communications network a hundred years earlier that the Scots.”

One week later, The Dublin Times reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 meters in a potato field near Sligo, Pat Murphy, a self-taught archeologist, reported that he found nothing. Murphy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Ireland had already developed a wireless communications network.”

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

— P.J. Plauger

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Terry Maddox is publisher of St. Tammany News.